Original Sin            

I believe that in the introduction to this blog that I may have set my viewpoints straight, and why I think the way that I do. So this section will be more to talk about the reasons behind why I became this way. To be honest, when I was younger, as I mentioned previously, I really wanted to believe, which made me understand why people do. You see, my childhood wasn’t a good one, and I faced some really rough times from the hands of those who were supposed to keep me from them. So I turned to the deities, waiting to find out for real that someone out there was watching what was happening to me, that there would be some big smiting as retribution.

Of course, nothing ever came. My parents were standard Christians, and so the bible was readily available to me. I read the entire book in my many days spent locked away in my room. Only to find myself with more questions than answers. Why is it such a preaching of love when there is so much hate? Why can such a loving and benevolent being just jump straight to genocide when his own creation annoys him? So many questions like these rattled around in my little brain, as I sat there on Sundays listening to how much this religion is one for peace and love and unity, and yet did so much to prove the opposite.

It wasn’t until my teens that I started to learn about the influence of man. The men who wrote the bible, the men who subverted text to use as a means of control, the men who adopted the religion only to twist it to their own means and have as a tool to create their own futures for their people. The men, who were fallible. These were the words we were reading. Not something cast down from the heavens and magically appearing on page, but men who wrote, and men who had agendas. This soured a lot of the religious text for me, and I began to look into other locations. I studied other religions for almost four years in my late teens, trying to find out if someone, anyone got it right.

Of course, I couldn’t find anything that really meshed with what I believed naturally. This led to a lot of confusion, as my mind at the time figured that we all had to believe in something, some form of religion. That without one, you were less of a person. These were the ideas that were planted in my mind by those who did believe in something, and made me feel lesser because of it. It wasn’t until much later in life that I learned that I was free to believe in whatever I wanted, even if that was nothing, but at the time it was something that was really hard to wrap my head around, and I feel is one of the major problems in religions to begin with.

Turning The Page            

It wasn’t always a bleak outlook that I held on the realm of religion, in fact, when I was younger I truly wanted to believe. I even find in my day to day life as of now that I will let slip certain ingrained thoughts and expression that come from a religious background, yet, I simply can’t do it. I can’t get myself behind the idea that there’s some great invisible being in the cosmos that is causing us to do, and say and feel all the things we do. That there is some ingrained rule system that we must live by in order to gain entry to some obscure paradise that no one has ever bore witness to.

I think the biggest issue that I have, and what makes it the hardest for me to be able to get behind these notions is the utter lack of proof. Everything in the hierarchy of religion is all about simply believing what you’re told. When it comes to science, and believing in reality, there are means that you can put to use to test the theories put forward. Curious about gravity? You can do some simple tests at home to verify it. Wonder if there are actually other planets out there? You can buy a telescope and see for yourself. Don’t believe that the world is less than five thousand years old, you can research into geology and learn about these processes that take millions of years to take form.

Whereas when it comes to religion, they begin to tell you everything from a young age, fill your head with these stories, and then feign ignorance when it comes to verifying them. When you seek out archaeological proof, you hit a road block. When you seek historical truth, you find nothing. It all simply comes down to having faith in something that cannot be verified. This makes it extremely hard for me to be able to get behind the notion. Not to mention all the means in which people have corrupted and subverted this belief system that they claim to hold so dear. That they can use it as a shield, a wall, and a sword all in the same movement and have it justify some of the darkest actions we can make as a people.

I find personally that there is just something inherently wrong with the whole idea, and there are millions out there who don’t agree with me, and millions that do. No matter what I say, I won’t be able to sway the opinions of either, and that’s not my intention. My goal in this blog is simply to share the viewpoint of someone who does not believe. For both believers and detractors alike to look into, to understand, and to do with as they see fit. No matter what I write down, I am just one person, with one set of beliefs, and that is how I will live my life, as you will yours.